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07 March 2013 @ 09:55 pm
Blackjack doubled his quarry in the dark,
Two spades played beside a broken heart.
Heads up high, he considered the fold,
But for the smile of a queen, safe in the hole.

Silence swarmed as the kitty fetched food,
Jack now marked by sharks in the room.
Eyes on the prize, he flopped to the side -
All but the queen, kept guarded inside.

"Come now, son, what angle is this?"
Asked the lead, his emotions remiss.
Jack smacked back, no slack in his tone,
"Are you offering coffee, or valuing your own?"

The shark circled closer, his eyes full of steam,
"Your heart's too light to envision such dreams.
I'm not walking away while mucking wet
Because of a boy too dry for a bet."

Jack played a smile, his eyes now amused.
"Not all pots are won by those who confuse.
Now either call the bluff or call the clock,
Raise the bar, or try to block.

"But understand the man you want to play fast:
I won't run soft just to stand pat.
I don't tag when reason isn't there,
So either fold or raise, but at least declare."

The shark sat silent as he simmered his cards,
Chips chatting noisily as the decision came hard.
"Representing a rock isn't good enough
To prove you're more than a post oak bluff."

The overcall stood; the room turned to Jack,
Who calmly, quietly, matched the tall stack.
"Odds are best another man holds her,
And all I have is a dead man's soldier.

"But maybe, just maybe, her smile's just for me.
So, tell me, what's it going to be?"
The shark became marked,
The room became stark.

Through the dark and distant haze of the crowd,
The kitty called to the chef out loud
While Blackjack, in the corner, played with his toy,
The queen smiling softly at the craft of his ploy.
 
 
 
06 August 2012 @ 01:03 am
Hey folks,

To those that have been following, or wondering what I'm up to, I'll be releasing my third book, Indigo Dreams, within a month or so - followed by a fourth book by the end of the year. The editing and formatting process have taken a little bit longer than expected, but I'll provide a link to information on how to grab a copy soon!
 
 
 
13 April 2012 @ 02:01 am

I'm not here to begin an ending.
I'm not going to chase after beliefs
That I already know reside within me,
I am not going to search for happiness
That I have already found.

I am not deaf, dumb, blind, nor naive.
I am not stupid, lazy, nor uninspired.

I am driven. And I am stubborn.
Pull, and I will dig my heels in deep.
Push, and I will set my weight.
Chide me, and I will simply reply
That it is worthy to me -
And that is all that matters.

I am open-minded, but focused.
Friendly, but challenging.
Understanding, but demanding.
Compassionate, but aware.
Outspoken, but hidden in plain sight.

I am soft-spoken, but stand firm
On the decisions that I make for myself,
And whom I made those decisions for.
For they were worth it,
And continue to be.

And I refuse to be told
That I should expect a return on my time
Using someone else's scale.
I don't work that way.

What I am, is complex, but simple:
I exist.

Get used to it.

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12 April 2012 @ 11:39 pm

Shhh...
Listen to the silence around you.
Realize, even now, that they've found you:
Hundreds of sirens conspiring to confound you,

Whispers of dreams that seem to call out
For you to fall without ever flying...
For you to live without even trying.

Feel their song course through your veins,
Straining the very core of you,
Imploring you not to be you,
Destroying what may never be.

See them as they truly are:
Unruly voices far from good intentions,
Their only attention upon you
Because you wish to be happy and free.

Shhh...

Listen to them sing of fear and disgrace,
Of saving face and place in society
Even though they know it will never be
Through your own hopes and desires.

Will you let a disembodied choir
Keep your choices on happiness so few,
On what is expected to be,
Not on what you wish to be true?

Do you expect them to reflect
Everything that is good about you
When their gentle song starts anew?

Ask them.

Ask them why their whispers disperse
And then stop
When you drop your expectations
To enjoy the happiness in a given situation.

Ask them to answer the question
Of why there isn't any mention
Of freedom in your heart
When your inner truth and reality part.

Ask them why the simpple act of kindness
Must be met with apathetic blindness.
Compassion, rationed.
Joy, destroyed...

All because they sang a song
That started out cowering,
But grew into a strong, overpowering
Silence.

Shhh...
In the violence of calm surrender
Rendering you mute to your situation,
Ask yourself:

Did they choose this damnation, or did you?

Listen to the silence that's around you.
Then stop.

Now.
Listen to you.

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12 April 2012 @ 10:30 pm

Take this moment in your hands.

Softly, slowly, begin to understand
That it was never designed to please you,
Never aligned by Fate to tease you
Into choices you'd learn to regret.

Forget... what you thought you knew.
Step aside from what you hold true,
And hold this moment, instead,
In your heart. Your dreams.
Your head.

Cherish the sensation
Of compassion without expectation,
Of fashion found from inner grace,
Of faith in worth upon this Earth.
Of a moment filled with you.

Your heart.
Your hands.
Your inner truth.

Take this moment, just to be you.
And, in doing so know
Why it is that I do what I do.

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26 March 2012 @ 02:09 am

There are people in this life
That will mean more to you than you will know.

People that will fill your heart with wonder,
Your mind with an understanding it never knew before,
And a tomorrow brighter than any sun.

And you will love them.

They will become the twinkle to your smile,
The purpose behind your every movement,
The stars that fill your sky.

And you will cherish them forever.

These people, these angels in the dark,
Will be proof of a greater design,
A greater good waiting to be seen,
A goal to strive towards reaching, always.

Even if they never knew.

But, to you, they will mean everything.
And, for that, you will give them
All that you are.

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25 March 2012 @ 01:07 am

The old man stood his ground
When the sound of objections
Seeped through the mentions
Of thought and concern.
"You'll learn, just as I,
That men were bred to lie."

The youth still showed respect,
But continued to object,
"The truth may be viewed
As more costly than free,
But it is the way for me."

"Nothing you now know
Can ever begin to show you
How untrue your intentions are,"
The man sparred, his voice calm
While his palms grasped his chair,
His eyes a gentle yet wintry stare.

"My intentions are known,
Shown by actions and speech
Each of those around me can witness."
With this, the youth placed hand to hip,
Lips solemn under a determined gaze
As his face suddenly became older
From a voice much, much bolder.

He pointed to the man's chest,
"If you know this, then know the rest.
I will not stop until I drop dead
From doing what is right instead
Of what you, and they, think may be
The right way for me.

I will not accept the pretense
Of defense upon your sense of truth
That my youth has anything to do
With misunderstanding the standing line
That defines what is and is not true.

And I refuse to choose a life
Where I seek meek comfort over strife,
But pay the price of lies upon lies
When each morning my eyes yearn to see
A mirror of the man I came to be."

A crease stretched the old man's brow,
And, somehow, his eyes became colder,
More fierce, as if to pierce the air before him.
"Ignore him. That is what they will say,
Every day that you speak,
Never stopping until you are weak, and alone.
Old and dry from tears you can no longer cry.

Do you honestly think that I would sink so low
As to not know the fresh scent of truth meant
For my ears, my fears, my pain and joy?
You listen, and listen good to me, boy:
You want the truth to be your way?
Fine. Then suffer. Every. Single. Day.

Suffer as every woman that you love
Shoves you to the side, while inside
They ask for more stories of their glories
And what they truly are worth.

Suffer as every person on this earth
That you truly care for dares for you
To still speak their praise
While they raise the bar higher, and higher.

Suffer the liar, and the temptation
Upon your realization that no matter what you say,
Lies are what you will wade through,
Day after day.

Suffer, knowing that the truth may set you free,
But only so that you can truly see
How low and disgusting of a place
Our society can be.

And suffer the reality that only in lying
Will the crying, the pain, the strain of living
Be forgotten, forgiven, and foresaken...
Only by breaking the core concept of being you.

Being me...
You see, my boy,
I was destroyed for being true.
Please... don't let that happen to you."

The old man sat back, eyes wracked
With memories of far off things,
The youth forgotten for a spell
As the hell he had been through was viewed again,
Cued then from his own brutal honesty
Of what the ultimate cost might be.

Not knowing what to say,
The youth looked away,
Lost in his own thoughts of what brought him there
To be the man he had wanted to be,
The honesty he craved for to brave more
Than he expected to take on or understand,
All envisioned by the missives of the older man.

The youth's gaze returned to see the honesty
Escaping down the old man's face,
And he understood what would be
His lesson for that day.

"Even after all of these years,
All of the lies,
Your tears haven't dried,
And you still wish for what is true.

I can't promise where I will go,
Or what road I will roam to make my way,
But, today, I can honestly say
Thank you, for being true.
Thank you, for simply being you."

And, with that, the old man watched
As his youth walked away.

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24 March 2012 @ 09:19 pm

What if an if didn't come, but a yes?

What if, at its very best,
Life showed you a path to outlast
The glowing questions sequestering your soul,
Untold awakenings breaking into your awareness?

That sense of fairness giving way one day,
And you find the sense of mind
To fence off the blindness,
Accept the kindness, and say okay?

What if all of your objections
Were their own imperfections
On how simple it is to destroy
The samples of joy that life has in store
When they are objections no more,

But rather avenues on life's streets
To view whom you meet,
Listen to what they believe is true -
Not because of you,
But due to something inside...

And they turn to you and confide
That you are, to them, a reminder
Of the kinder side of humanity
When all of its generalities can be ignored
While the greater truths are born
From the torn shreds bled
By them, by you?

What if life said, believe it to be true?

Would you simply leave,
Or give your mind a reprieve
And take that small step
Off of what's left of the cliff where you rest?

What if the if turned into a yes?
Because, only then, do you reach,
And, by reaching, you become your very best.

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19 March 2012 @ 11:16 pm

These... are my hands.

Built to withstand abuse and neglect
When I choose to accept hard labor,
Yet still soft enough to savor
The slightest touch upon their skin,
Or implement caresses directed from within.

By nature, they remain open,
Hoping to nurture a friend
Without rendering a single red tear
Mingled with the fear
Of not knowing what they should do.

But... to you,
They are everything and nothing at all,
Just a small part of me.
An extension of my heart.
How we connect and understand.

For, with my hands, I can hold yours.

The whole of the world could cease to be,
And still, they would be holding everything
I could ever wish there to be.

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16 March 2012 @ 12:56 am

There are dreams that unfold
Between the breaths of young and old
That teach us how to better be
Than the lives we choose to see.

They start off as a whispered sigh,
A fleeting thought in our mind,
Asking that we pause in our day
And contemplate their beautiful way
Of being able to change us forever.

Our eyes close to the world we knew,
And open to one seen through
A lense filled with the possibility
Of rearranging our responsibility

From that which we held true before
They materialized at our door
And showed us the proof we had asked
Before the pain inside would mask
The love we were destined to know.

Our ears, once filled with songs
Of contented nights, now long
For one more note to be heard,
One more phrase or spoken word

To grant us access to live once again,
Become that person when
Old habits and inhibitions fade,
And the new feelings that stayed
Were ones we will never regret experiencing.

Dreams, even upon waking,
Have this habit of making
Themselves known and even felt
Years after fate itself dealt

The cards that stacked against time,
Be there no reason nor rhyme
But the saving grace of morning
Shining through without a warning
And bringing us back to the reality which is.

Yet, still, we hold onto them tightly,
Secretly hoping that nightly
Excursions to that uncharted land
Of possibilities will once again hand

Us something permanent, something afixed
So our beings are not mixed
With the outer shell we knew
Upon slumber. Something true
To that part of us wishing to be free.

In seeing it in memory,
Remembering how it could be,
We are reminded how to realize
The closeness that surprised

Us on our first forays,
When we were wrapped in an embrace
Of love, acceptance, and compassion
That asks, in its own fashion,
For us to become the dreams we seek.

Our eyes truly open with our heart,
Our mind and will a part
Of a process we always yearned.
Our hands crafting things learned

Between breaths of old and young,
Our mouths using a tongue
That speaks of better things,
Ones we didn't dare bring
Into the beautiful light of the sun.

We look back to the past,
The dreams that came alive at last
To shape us as we are now,
And wonder not at how

It was that they came to be -
Forever its own mystery -
But, instead, how to properly say
That, come what may,
We will always be grateful for them.

For they, they are our dreams.
Without them, we would seem
As if we had nothing to reach for.
With them, we have so much more.

Because of them, we have everything.

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